In Spite of Fear, The Lead Domino Falls

The story I’m about to tell you may or may not be true. I may have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I may have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

***

Come Across
[Five Months prior to the Lead Domino]

"Si [my real name]", Zee introduced me to her.

She seated herself on the white covered chair beside the table I was leaning on. She parked her silver suitcase beside her and rested her face on the top of the backrest and spoke, "Iba yung hair mo?"

Zee and I were chatting about my progress since the Task when she approached us. Zee was standing beside me, wearing his dark navy shirt and dark jeans, still holding the pack of food someone handed him earlier. The Rift Live already ended almost half an hour ago. I patiently waited on the back of the hall for the people to finish their chatting, their book signing and selfies with the couple so that I can chat with them around fewer people and fewer distractions.

"Sa Facebook kasi..." she gestured her hand over her head.

"...shaved yung profile picture ko," I tried to finish her sentence.

"Matagal na kasi yon", I shyly replied. I was thinking of things to say but then suddenly I remembered something I brought with me for them to sign on.

"Baka pwedeng..." as I reached for the books inside my black backpack and pulled two of them to get them signed by the couple.

"Uy! Maganda yan", she exclaimed. Pointing on both of the books.

"Maraming kang mapupulot na magagandang mindsets sa book na yan", she added.

I handed the smaller book to Zee and asked him to sign it.

"Nabasa mo na?" She asked as Zee started writing something on the smaller book.

"Hindi pa eh, may tinatapos pa 'kong isang libro. Isusunod ko na to", I replied as I handed her the slightly bigger yellow book. "Pa-sign na rin ako nito..." I said.

"Maganda rin 'to..," she said while signing on the title page of my yellow book.

***

Handshake
[Five weeks prior to the Lead Domino]

"Hindi kasi trading yung endgame ko eh," I leaned closer  and rested my elbows on the table.

Everyone at our table and the one in front of us were having an interesting discussion during our break. Grace, the lady in front of our table, asked us if we plan to be a full-time trader in the future.

"I plan to use trading to build a real estate business. Bili ng condo then kumita sa rental or resale. Airbnb or long term rental. Then I can build my own workshop para ako na rin mag-design and fit-out ng mga units ko and, maybe, for other clients din." I explained.

"Workshop?" Grace asked.

"Yes, carpentry workshop, where you build furniture and cabinets for renovations..," as I finished my sentence, I glanced to my left where the elevator was and I noticed that someone was approaching our table. I looked at her and recognized the very familiar face. She extended her arm to me and gestured for a handshake.

"Hi [my real name], I remember you," she greeted smiling.

"Kumusta?" she asked.

I tried to stand up. My legs are cramped between the table and my chair.

"Hi... OK lang..." I awkwardly replied as I reached and shook her hand. I wasn't expecting she'd recognize me at all. I've only met her once.

"Juicy naman mga lessons so far?", she cheerfully asked us. The group nodded collectively.

"Nice! Enjoy the rest of Technical Intensive," she waved goodbye and went back to her group.

***

Pass Up
[Two weeks prior to the Lead Domino]

It was dark. Except for the slivers of light that managed to pierce through the slits on the sides of the window shades. Coming from the headlights of the always busy traffic in front of our building, the white streaks repeatedly moved from one side of the room to the other. For a moment I was tempted to count them for I was so desperate for sleep while my two-year-old was dreaming already of unicorns and candies on the other end of the bed.

"Nag-post na si Zee ng opening for the next batch ng MasterClass niya,"

I threw the lines aimlessly, hoping that my wife was already asleep.

I didn't want to open up the topic for I knew that we will be both disappointed by the decision that will be the result of the conversation.

Another car passed by. Its headlight glared through the narrow slits between the shade and the window frame.

"Oh? Ano ng plano mo?" I heard her soft voice.

It took me a while to give her a reply for I don't like what I was about to say.

"Baka pass muna tayo," I said softly. More like a whisper. As if I didn't want her to hear the words.

"Wala pang balita sa renewal ng contract ko sa work eh. Medyo alanganin yung timing. We'll need all the money we can save, including our emergency fund, if ever di na ako i-renew sa work."

***

Graciously Invited
[One week prior to the Lead Domino]

"Kasama pala si Ned sa natanggal last week", I sadly told my wife the news as I grabbed my chair. I sat at the opposite side of the table and put my phone down.

"E di' ba kapapanganak lang ng asawa niya?", my wife worriedly asked. Putting down the bowl of steaming rice she heated from the microwave oven.

"Paano ka?" she quickly added. "Eh mae-expire na yung two-year-contract mo sa katapusan..."

I felt her getting anxious about the news that I just told her. I was also feeling the same way.

Contract expiring in a couple of weeks without any updates or news of renewal. Twenty-eight people just got let go. Who wouldn't panic?

Ding!

My phone screen lit up. The vibrate was felt across the whole table.

An e-mail was received. I quickly glanced at my left side where my phone was and noticed a familiar word on the name of the sender.

I paused. Still staring at the unexpected message.

I felt the excitement from the message but at the same time, I felt worried by the dooming news from work.

For a moment I thought of picking up my phone and read the whole message.

My left hand twitched. My mind hesitated.

And then a few seconds later, the glow from the screen of my phone started to fade...

...and the notification slowly vanished on the dimming screen until it went completely dark again.

A few hours later...

I checked the email message from earlier and preview reads...

***

Whenever You Are Ready

[Four days prior to The First Domino]

Hi [my real name],

Don't worry, I totally understand the situation. The Middle East is fighting a silent recession as far as I was told. At least we got to talk a bit in person, I know there's still so much gas in you. Whenever you are ready, we will be here.

Best of luck, I'll include you in my prayers tonight!

Forever yours,
Celeste

***

A Few Hour Long Drive

Harv, the author of The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, tells a story of him teaching at a seminar and was reminding people about his upcoming Millionaire Mind Seminar in Vancouver when suddenly a man stood up and told everyone how a dozen of his friends and family is ten times happier and is on the road to financial success after attending the said seminar. And lastly, the man said, "if you were holding the course in Seattle, I’d definitely come too.”

Harv thanked him for the testimonial but confidently said that the man is most likely broke. And Harv was right. He talked to the man later on and learned that the man was doing not too good on his finances. And it is exactly because of the line that the man spoke - "if you were holding the course in Seattle, I’d definitely come too.”

***

I rode a bus and commuted for roughly 139-kilometer distance to attend the Rift Live UAE and commuted back late in the evening. That's roughly a commute from a bus terminal in Tarlac City to Pasay City and back in one day. I flew a nine-hour flight, arrived at NAIA Terminal 3, hopped on a two-hour drive to the province to see my wife and kid for a bit, slept for four hours, hopped on a two-hour drive at the crack of dawn back to Manila to attend the 2-day Technical Intensive Workshop. I was almost late. I was sitting literally at the last table at the back.

I did all these things because of what I want. Because of my goals. My dreams. But when another opportunity came to get into the Masterclass, I stepped back. I let my fear of losing my job - losing security - stop me from achieving what I want. For a while, I was full of doubt and worries. My focus was on the 'wall' - the obstacles.

***

So Harv said to the crowd, "If you're going to let a three-hour-long drive stop you from doing something you want or need to do, then what else will stop you?"

Anything.

'Anything' could stop us.

***

The Domino Effect

In 1983, Lorne Whitehead wrote in the American Journal of Physics that he’d discovered that domino falls could not only topple many things, they could also topple bigger things. He described how a single domino is capable of bringing down another domino that is actually 50 percent larger. Do you see the implication? Not only can one knock over others, but also others that are successively larger…

There is this more interesting application of the Domino Effect in the book The ONE Thing. It says there that a single domino can bring down another domino that is 50 percent larger than the previous one. If you start with a usual size small domino, the 18th domino would be as tall as the leaning tower of Pisa, the 23rd domino would be as tall as the Eiffel tower, the 31st domino would be as big as Mount Everest and the 57th domino can bridge the gap to the moon. (The ONE Thing)

***


The Nudge
[The day the Lead Domino Fell]

"I still have two slots not taken sa regular if you want," he offered.

I tried applying for the Fantastic Ferret scholarship that they posted days ago and I told Zee about it but he warned me that it would be a super slim chance for several specific reasons.

"But if di kaya ng budget, you can wait for August or September and try for SEED, if mentorship talaga habol mo."

I tried explaining my current issues at work and how things aren't supportive and aligned with my desire to join and learn from their Masterclass.

"Oh damn! At least you got TI done. Yung psych mo, kumusta? Nakaka-pressure din yang situation mo."

As an overseas worker for six years now, I am already used to this kind of situation. There's no certainty in working abroad. We just always leave our doors open for other opportunities so that we are always ready to jump ship if shit hits the fan.

Taking the opportunity of his offer for a slot, I negotiated for terms that would at least not put more pressure on me and my family given my situation at work.

"That is fine. I have this arrangement with another regular." He kindly agreed.

The guy even offered better terms in addition to what I've asked.

***

I was on the verge of letting 'it' go. But Zee gave me a nudge to pull myself up, get my shit together and focus on my goals - on what I really want. To be time and financially free and be able to live my life on my terms.

And so I jumped... at the opportunity.

In spite of fear...

...I chose to act.

Don't get me wrong, my fear was still there. My job was still on the line. Acting to achieve my goal didn't make the fears and problems go away. But I shifted my focus on the direction of my goal and not on the walls of obstacles, I replaced my non-supportive thoughts with an empowering one. Then 'the thought' pushed me to steer on the direction of my goal.

And getting to our goals is not always a convenient and easy path. So train ourselves to not be stopped by 'anything'.

Act in spite of discomfort. 'Comfort' is where we are right now. So if we want to move into the next level, we need to move out of our comfort zone and do uncomfortable things.. By doing the uncomfortable things again and again, in time we get comfortable doing it and expands our comfort zone with it. And just like how our muscles grow when we train and workout, we grow ourselves into a bigger person when we practice acting in spite of fear and discomfort.

Getting our goals can sometimes be so damn hard.

"But if we're willing to do what's hard, life will be easy."

Sometimes we think that courage only belongs to the warriors, the knights, the avengers or to Tom Cruise in his movies. But it's not. We don't need a big of a warrior's courage to achieve our biggest dreams. We just need a pinch of it just enough to topple our first domino. Until the domino effect kicks in. Then we would be able to move with greater speed and strength as we topple bigger dominoes after bigger dominoes along the way until we are big enough to bridge the gap to our big goal. So if you want to shoot for the moon, go find your lead domino and whack away until...

...the lead domino falls.